Random Update

It's mid sem holidays again!! It's been a week already and I really don't know where my time has gone. We've been over to a friend's place for a sleepover, been shopping...I've been busy with our social clubs stuff as usual, and also getting a random inspirational to cook! :D No idea what possessed me the other day, but I got the urge to make canapes... 

 Marzieh and I at the pizza place 

 went on a walk after the sleepover 

 canapes! ^_^

morning walk in the hills 

Holidays have been great! Just can't believe that they're half over already =( 

And being all sentimental and that, continuing from the last post. I know the reason now...because every single time I'm with him, I'm happy, I feel like it's worthwhile, he makes me feel like I've lived. Sometimes I wish I had the courage to ignore everything else in the world, to not think about the future. Life would be much simpler that way wouldn't it? 

Random Rant

It's been ages since I've blogged, way too long... been busy and lazy


Life is pretty hectic right now, with third year uni, doing stuff for student societies and my personal life in general. I guess there's just some things that I want to get off my chest right now. I don't know anyone whose love life is as screwed up as mine...


What I really hate about it is things not working out. I hate hurting people. I hate hurting the ones who I know so well, I hate hurting the ones who I care so much about. Yes in the process I also hurt myself, but I just can't stand it when I'm so consumed with guilt that I don't know what to do...


For me, I want to know someone really well before I date him. It's a long getting-to-know each other process, those few times when we go out, those little things that you do and the times that I will never forget...


For all the times, we've been so happy, so carefree and I must admit, I didn't really think about anything. Nor did anyone really give me anything to think about. 


So down the track, people start to voice their opinions. Yes I wonder why people just did not say anything earlier, so why all the fuss now? I cared about the gossip before, but few days ago, I decided people can think whatever they like and I don't care anymore. I don't like making assumptions and I never want to make assumptions. 


But somehow, talking to people has made me think. When someone asked me, why? I simply answered, he makes me feel happy. I was surprised at my answer. I realized that I haven't even thought about the question before... Yes I want to feel happy, but that's not enough. I've been thinking for a while trying to understand myself and to know what I want. 


In a relationship, I'm more so looking for contentment,  fulfillment and a sense of security. But this doesn't give me that...what happens to things when the laughter and excitement dies down? I don't want a relationship that lasts for a few months or a year or two. I don't want to get into a relationship if it just means being happy for a short while. I'm really serious and almost weird in a way that when I date someone, I want that someone to be one who I can potentially marry and be with for the rest of my life. Obviously not every relationship ends up in a marriage and it's highly unlikely in fact especially at that stage, but I'm just...serious like that. 


I know what you want is different. 


I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to find myself, to realize that I need and what I want. I just hope you know that whatever decision I make, whether a yes or a no, I made that decision because I care a lot and because I thought it through. Now I finally understand the meaning of "it's not you, it's me"...


With your charm, your sweetness and laughter, I'm sure you'll find the right girl one day. I wish you all the best . I have everything to thank you for and I'm really grateful for it. Thanks! =) 

Michelle in Harry-Potter-land!

 First of all, Annie! Those ridiculous shoes look amazing! If I was there I would have totally made us get a pair! Haha. As a joke of course… =P

Filch's confiscated stuff... Hmm...

Hagrid's Hut!

 It's really good to be back home for the holidays, means I can sleep in again! But that's not to say I didn't enjoy my trip to the US! The most exciting part was defs seeing the Wizarding World of Harry Potter! When we first went in, there were no words to describe how I felt, simply awestruck! (Although, I do admit, I am a bit of a Potterhead.) Everything, from the quaint little shops in Hogsmeade (some of the really should have been in Diagon Alley!) to the towering Hogwarts castle was so real and detailed. Even the snowman in the courtyard was dressed in a Gryffindor scarf and robes.

Yet, like all things that tend to instantly amaze, the pull of the 'magic' began to fade after a while. Perhaps it was the two-hour queues for everything, or maybe the tiny errors in the 'world' coupled with my nitpicky ways, but by the end of the first day, I was feeling a bit anticlimactic. Lucky for me, Dr. Seuss-world was right next door!

 

That's not to say I didn't enjoy HP world, it was great! In fact, I came back the next day, just to gawk at the buildings again. And the food. Especially the food… Mmm… Haha. Hopefully I'll get to visit there again!

Random Holidays Stuff

 ridiculous heels! 0_o

 Domo eating sushi, cuuute!!!

 I made sushi! :D

 chocolate from Bracegirdles ^_^

 mocha and white choc with coconut coat =) 

 cute <3

 tree in Burnside shopping center @.@

 latte!!! ^_^

 sushi boat at Wasai!!

 Eggless!!~

finally catching up!!! ^.^

Freedom, is it really?

Hi Annie,

So, today I finished my exams, which is a good thing? It means I get to see you sooner ^_^
I also read your post, and somehow, our lives these past two years seem oddly similar, even though we're miles apart. (No wonder we're twins =P )

This piece is really soothing, I quite like it. It describes the peace that sometimes comes after the hectic schedule before and during exams. Hah.

Annie's right, in many ways we are still the innocent naive little girls we were when we started. But in so many other ways we aren't. These past two years have changed us a lot, I know I can speak for myself. The fears I've faced, the trials that we've been through to chase our dreams, the disillusionment, they've all helped to shape us into who we are today. But sometimes we don't really know what we're chasing, or if the dream is nothing but just that. Growing up, knowing what you want, is really confusing. But then again, so is calculus, stochastic modeling and algebra. I've been talking to people lately, and I've come to the realisation that maybe I don't know what I want in life, yet. I'll let you know when I do.


Does this mean we're both where we were two years ago? I don't think so. These past two years, I've made more mistakes than I can count. But somehow, I know that there will be a day that I won't regret making those choices and that hopefully from them we can learn to be better people.

Now it sounds like I've been reading too many self help books. Great.

See you soon!
x

Thank You!

At this random time in the middle of the night, I just wanted to say... thank you Mickey and Meanie!!! You guys are the most awesome people ever! I'm so glad to have met you guys. Can't ever say thank you enough =) 

Being Sentimental

Mmm...right now it's 11:49pm, pouring outside. I'm sitting in bed writing this blog diary sort of thing. I don't know why, but all of a sudden I feel so sentimental, so lovey, touching, feely or whatever you want to call it. Is it the coffee?


A lot has happened in the past 2 years I guess. But somehow, at the end of the day, I don't think I've changed at all. I'm still the same as I was back then, that same naive little girl who day dreams all day, someone who fantasizes, someone who imagines things in such a perfect light that it's almost unrealistic, thinking of the world as if it were a fairytale. 


I had a conversation with a friend about relationships the other day. She was analyzing relationships, talking about the balance of power, playing the games... It was all foreign language to me. Really?  


To me, love has always been so simple. If you like someone, you just like them. And if everything works out, then great! I guess what I'm saying is that I've never thought about it in a logical way. Maybe I should, just a little bit. But I would never want to be like that. I would never want to analyze relationships like that, to analyze love. It almost seems...robotic in a way...


For the past two years, I've had a crush, I've loved someone, people have liked me. Nothing has really happened, so in a way, its still the same as before. 


I thought I've matured, I thought I've grown. But it was only recently that I realized that right now, I still don't know what I want....